"well, first I'd poke out his eyes." she said with disdain oozing from her pouty little pooch

"Take down the banjo, and stick him in the ass" the other one cackles mischieviously.

"I don't know, it might be nice to paint his eyelids with butter and invite in the alley cats" she smirked.

"Me thinks he needs some lovin, or perhaps a bib?" veritible sparkles cast forth like a prairie wind from her eyes upon retort.

"Ma! where'd you put them Depends?!" I hollered

"They's on yo daddy, Lilly-may!" momma hissed, " They done hardly been used, take em off, that fucker, let him pisshimself all over the dogbed, bitches, all of em!"

"Don't worry momma, we'll hose 'em off in the yard." her voice echoes against the silo in the shit still night.

"I think we need to address the seriousness of the situation! Incontinence is no laughing matter." piped in Aunt Sal.


Suddenly, the sailor looked up, with scurvy in his eyes, and bedbugs crusting his thighs, "Canna I hev me sum watah?"

"NO!!!!" they shouted in tandem x 5.

"Well's howsa bout sum whiskey?"

"here you go, sugar bee." She said taking out her pendulous breast and slapping his whiskered, liver sick cheek.

" Get Your smarmy ass outta here, he's my drunk!" squealed Tiny Pip.

"Pipe down, youse wakin my dognap, water leggin mothuh!" daddy grumbles.

" Oh, what to do, what to do..." quivered Dolly-Jean.

"Take him out back and shoot him!" said grandmaw.

"What in God and the Devil's name or fame is goin on heah?" bellowed the Sheriff.

"Ladies, This ain't the big Apple, but I knows this ain't Ko-sure!"

"awwwwwwwwwwwww.."

da da di da di di da da di da, da da di da, da da da di da da....
earllllll......lie in the mornin!