Free Republic of Slackidonia's topics - tribe.net

booty

2007-09-18T14:05:02Z

discuss

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 5 replies

Daddy was a freemason

2006-04-20T18:16:51Z

Well, was he?

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 20 replies

Nobody's home

2006-04-18T22:52:10Z

Nobody is home at this tribe so I am going to proceed to vandalize it.

I've got my Marks-a-Lot. Here we go:

"The Great Cornholio was here."

"Poop."

"Farty farty fart fart fart-face."

"Poopy poo poo pants."

Ha ha ha ha.

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 4 replies

I'm Officially a Deacon

2006-03-29T04:21:48Z

in the Church of the SubGenius.

Last night "Bob" came to me and farted directly into my mouth!!!!

Praise him! I have Slack-o-plenty now!

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 19 replies

I am arrive depend on kindnesses of stranger.

2006-02-10T23:37:48Z

With warm heart I offer my friendship to fellow members of this illustrious group and greetings as we have not met personally or had any dealings in the past, I humbly ask that you take due consideration of my greeting and I also sincerely seek your friendship as a person of integrity.

First, let me start by introducing myself properly to you. I am Mr. Inscrutable J. Mugu, an humble shoe salesman in Shoe Barn fine establishment of sells shoes in Des Moines, Iowa. Before of that, I was barrister in humble village Cote d'Ivoire. l seek friendship and companiontude and possibly hot dating situations, hence I approach you. I have contacted you to assist in finding me a proper employment and also a hot woman for dating and even a marriage if she is not too unservicable or ugly. Particularly, one who have money not less than One Thousand United States Dollars (U.S$1,000) and also a car for driving, since I have been unsuccessful in locating a vehicle for over two years now because I can not drive a car.

In order to assist this development. I seek your consent to present you as good friends and testimonials to my hotness of sexy nature so that the proceeds from any matrimonys or onenight stands is accrued, valued at One Thousand United States Dollars(U.S$1,000) can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money 80% to me and 15% to you, while 5% should be for expenses or tax or box of facial tissues as your custom may require, I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation and support to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law such as misrepresentation of my hotness to the sexy womens who are perhaps interest in try a Mugu on for size.

Note that as a former barrister, I try my best to be over protective of every situation, it is discouraging to know that I cannot actually find a hot woman or even reasonable substitute of lukewarm woman otherwise my line of action would be to join expensive computer dating service and make payments with moneys I do not have. Nonetheless, since this is not possible, I cannot stop the attempt to gain companiontude and dating situations in any case I will end up old and lonely and cramped of hand. In this case, I decided to share the proceeds with you for your assistance, rather than allow that happen the old and lonely and cramped of hand. As a matter of urgency, I want you to seek for your assistance to stand as testimonial to my qualifications as lover man and dream date to many hot womens around a world who are attest their personal satisfaction my prowess.

I await your immediate reply to enable us start this transaction in earnest. You can reply through this tribe or else send the personal message me. If this proposal is fine by you, then kindly get to me immediately furnishing me with your full name, telephone number and contact address, bank account, other paperworks, also shoe size I fit you with free pair of shoes from Shoe Barn in Des Moines, so I can forward to you the relevant details of this transaction.

Thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation.

Best Regards,
Inscrutable J. Mugu

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 10 replies

The Winter Slack Report: too fricking cold to be amusing

2006-02-09T19:58:11Z

A hearty hail and howdy to new members, and the usual promise that the Slackidonia web site will be updated *eventually,* meaning whenever I get my stuff outta the computer graveyard and whenever Art aka the Kludgemeister has some free time to work on the site. Perhaps we SHOULD have gone with that Inuyasha slash fan fiction tribe, or "Descendants of Darkness"--surely one of the most hair-raising concepts known, filled as it is with blinky cow-eyed boyos hugging each other in a nonstop parade of cherry blossoms and supernatural angst. From "Duck and Cover" to "Descendants of Darkness"--if you know where I'm coming from, and I think you do--well, it's a logical procession: The Atom Bomb is Bad.

But now is as good a time as any to explain what's up here--I never got round to it before and I may not get round to it later, what with all the shit and thunder descending upon everyone's head at any given moment. Or maybe I did get round to it already, and I just forgot. But things is changing, pardners, and Change is Good...or so they say. Yeah, right. Change is not good. Change is confusing. Change involves things like tiling floors and deploying tubs of Spackle and putting stuff in boxes. Not to mention the fact that I find myself in the position of being Professor Sluggo, tutor to the Youth of America. When it's over, I expect to be sitting pretty in Casa de Slacko, dean emeritus of Firesign Academy on the very lip of the lake at the outskirts of Gary, Indiana, but until then, it's clobberin' time.

Anyhow: there is indeed a Slackidonia web site, which has been on the ol' WWW for over a year. And thereby hangs a tale.

The concept of Slackidonia was formed one fine misty evening on Lux chat when several of us, apparently overcome by the effects of too much red red wine and meds, combined with the Hurt Crescendo emanating from Space Patrol's crash-and-burn finale (aka: Pain Alley), started riffing on the idea that we needed our own place to crash, philosophically speaking. Somewhere to get away from the gov'ment and AmuriKKKa and all that. This place was originally called Fleedonia, and then Freedonia, until we found that there was a scary-looking Texas contingent with guns and money and bourbon who already owned a site with that name, and nobody wanted to mess with Texas, so there we were. Since we all agreed that Slack was a consummation devoutly to be wished by any right-thinking individual, we became Slackidonia, and will probably remain Slackidonia until the end of the chapter unless somebody comes up with a well-heeled sponsor. In which case, we can call ourselves Vlasic, Land of Pickles, or the Pepsi Continent, if the money's good enough. But I digress.

There is a handful (make that a double-handful) of Slackidonians who are affiliated both with Tribe and MySpace; some, including our Noble Leader (he's the one who forked out the long green for the site), who are only at MySpace; some only at Tribe; some only to be found at Luxuria Music; some who avoid the Internet altogether except to correspond via e-mail; and at least one still-sadly-mourned individual who is nowhere at all and not answering e-mails, he being dead. There is also a shortlist of individuals whom we desperately want on board the Slackidonian rowboat, but they haven't committed yet, or Art hasn't got round to asking them. It's all incredibly fluid.

Why are we doing this? I don't know.

When will we be doing this? I don't know either.

Does this have anything to do with string theory? How the hell would I know?

But this state of flux, this free-floating, not-knowing, anything-can-happen...um...floaty feeling...is the essence of Slack, however, so it continues.

About the only thing I can add is on a personal level: I am making arrangements to go to Branson, Missouri, in a few months to see my 90-year-old grandmother jump out of an airplane. The combination of Branson and nonagenerian parachuting grandmother is just too much to miss, and it's also just about the only way you could induce me to go BACK to Branson again; the last time I was there, I was bitten? stung? by a scorpion and menaced by a timber rattlesnake. No shit. But I think my brother's jumping out of the same plane. I'm not sure. And I find myself wondering if they can get my mom on that plane.

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 0 replies

The Autumn Slack Report: or, Breathe Dammit!

2005-11-19T02:58:47Z

Slackidonian updates, mainly because if we don't post they'll probably take this space away from us and give it to some Inuyasha slash fan fiction group:

--Welcome to our newest member. Howdy! Now we can have the cake...ormaybenot. You see, when we got the cake, we hired a guy to pop out of it, and we cemented him INTO the cake just to make sure of his commitment to the Cause. He's been in there since September. I think he decased.

--Slackidonia.com has been renewed for another year, thanks to the good offices and deep pockets of our own Lord Kludge, the founder of the feast. What does this mean to everyone? Well, mostly it means a lot of writing, some interesting photos, and everybody gets a snappy beret to wear, or something. We are working on pins and "stuff."

--We are not affiliated with the University of Phoenix Online, no matter what they might be claiming at the moment.

--On a personal note, our mom is arriving next week from Branson to celebrate Thanksgiving at our grandma's house. It will probably be a milestone in history: the 35th year in a row that those two sick and twisted old ladies make their annual turkey-neck-looks-like-a-penis joke. Yes, they cook the damn thing on the stove, in a pan of murky water, though we don't know what they do with it once it's cooked. We don't think anybody actually eats it, and have come to believe that they cook the turkey neck on the stove to ensure that any and all guys stay the hell out of the kitchen, which is rather small. One year they burnt the turkey neck. This was not a good thing. The males of the household were quite shaken up by the sight.

--This month's premiere of the Harry Potter movie marks the fourth time in a row we have not gone to see a Harry Potter movie.

--We have been using the pronoun "we" when we mean "I" because not only does it sound less self-absorbed, but we have some sort of personality disorder or perhaps an invisible friend. Yes, an invisible friend, a giant killer Conway Twitty robotic audioanimatronic sort of thing.

--Enjoy your Thanksgiving and remember, if the Pilgrims hadn't won at the Alamo, we'd all be eating somewhere else.

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 0 replies

The Summer Slack Report

2005-09-15T00:38:33Z

There is not much Slack to report in the Republic, though our brethren and sistren in Posen, Illinois, would like to announce their annual "Taste of Posen" festival. If you have never tasted Posen, this is a time to taste it. Bring antacids, plenty of quarters, and a large plastic trashbag to avoid splatters. Be advised that the locals do not enjoy it when you call their town "Poison" instead of "Posen," though this may be nearer the truth than they realize. The Taste will be held some time in September. Watch this space for details as they become available.

Roachdale, Indiana, cancelled their annual Alien Bigfoot Festival for the 33rd year in a row when it became obvious that no alien bigfoot creatures were going to show up. None have been seen since August 1972, when an alien bigfoot went rampaging through town, killing chickens and dodging bullets at random until it exploded in somebody's cornfield. Tickets for the "Alien Bigfoot Hayride" may be refunded at the town's railroad station.

Likewise, the Alien Bigfoot Festival in Churdan, Iowa, was cancelled when it became obvious that nobody in their right mind would go to Churdan, Iowa, even to see an alien bigfoot. This cancellation was a disappointment since it is a well-known fact that at least twenty alien bigfoot creatures live in Churdan.

The Slackford Wives' Club announced that their annual Guns and Butter potluck supper would be postponed due to a regrettable mixup with a microwave and somebody's cat.

Tickets are available now for the November Turkey Shoot. We do not have a Guest Turkey lined up for the event yet, so feel free to suggest someone. Last year's Guest Turkey, Regis Philbin, refused to attend this year's Shoot after what happened at last year's Shoot. He was a good sport, though, and we understand that the buckshot wounds healed nicely and left few scars. We are given to understand that overtures have been made to Pauly Shore, but he hasn't returned any calls yet.

If any citizen has further information to add to this report, please feel free to drop round the office after 1 p.m. If nobody is in the office at that time, just slip the information under the door, or post it here.

Thank you for your support.

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 1 reply

Pantos On Slack

2005-08-26T00:41:04Z

On the Eve of Destruction, slack is not only good and holy, it's crucial. Think about it. If the age of slack suddenly ended, where would that leave The End? In the toilet, that's where.

That's why the Temple of Pantos is pro-slack.

Slack means liberal amounts of care-free procrastination and unbridled apathy. It means, long hours doing nothing around the pool in oblivion, unsure if that's your drink you spilled in your lap or something worse. The perfect ingedients for fun, to be sure. But it's also crucial to the freefall into Doom. Anything can happen, and that taste of chaotic potentiality is just half the fun.

Plus, slack is so convenient! It's much ten times easier than lifting your finger. It's twenty times easier than thinking.

So, just lay yourself across the chaise lounge, cover your eyes in the darkest sunglasses you can find, fit the funnel between your lips and let the ever-loving fire of rum pour. Here's to slack!

Cheers!

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 1 reply

Um...

2005-08-25T22:44:36Z

Is this thing on?

*tap tap tap*

Testing, testing...

*clears throat*

*tap tap tap*

Um...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
AS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AS THE WIND BLOOOOOOOOOOOOWS
AS FREEEEEEEEE AS THE....

*fwizipppppp*

Damn microphone. Anyhow, welcome to Slackidonia.

posted in Free Republic of Slackidonia - 2 replies