SEX and the SCA

It is morning you have to pee. You are chilled to the bone and have no desire to stand. The pounding in your head is intollerable, drums, the crack you took on the helm yesterday or the hangover left behind from last night? Doesn't really matter. You fudge around your tent looking for something warm to wear and cover for your feet, don't want to step where the pirate puked last night. You make your way out of the cloth canvas home, towards the port-o-johns. You open them up in hope that the shit dragon has been by, NO SUCH LUCK. The bathroom is filled to the hilt and smells, enough to remind you that yes the skull pounding is from a hangover, cause now you are going to copy last night's pirate.
You finish your business and make your way back to the encampment. A pretty yet taken girl there says to you, "coffee?" The invite reminds you that all is not bad here so you happily accept. The tar bean tea warms you and begins to spark the synapses within your skull to chase away your headache. Since you did regurgitate two minutes ago you dont mind the bitter unsweetened brew. You think to yourself wow I have got to brush my teeth. You dig around your tent get your paste and brush the feeling is refreshing. Now your coffee is really starting to taste good. Another dame in your encampment is grabing a skillet and some potatoes, bacon and eggs and says "breakfast in a half hour."
Meanwhile one of the heralds screams towards your camp "armor inspection at 7:00 o'clock". You think again to yourself it is going to be a good day. This thought comes as bacon falls to the skillet with a sharp sizzle and a all to friendly smell. Better start armoring up while breakfast cooks.
You struggle with your armor, put on a few pounds since last year. Then you guilt yourself for not getting out to practice enough. you sit down and eat your breafast the eggs are dry and the open fire cooking has burnt the bacon. Yet for some reason it is the best breakfast you have eaten in a long long time. There is just something about this place that makes almost anything taste great.
Off to the battlefield, you and five of your friends start the long march to battlefield C. Your leg armor is rubbing a hole right through your thigh. You all chant some damn saying in latin your whole way there and you wonder to yourself "what the hell does that mean anyway?"
The words "LAY ON" resonate through the air and you are on the front line. You move foreward towards your enemy, wait a minute didn't he share his thirty year old scotch with me last night? Screw it NO MERCY you lash out with your weapon a clean kill. Then two more and as quickly as it began "HOLD!" You freeze wondering to yourself "god I wish they could find some way to have less holds around here." The three men you killed magicaly get up and move off from the feild as if god was taking their spirits. "LAY ON!" THUNK!!!!! before you even had the chance to get in a defensive position combat resumed and you are now dead. So you wait for the next hold to float away.
Back to camp, you need a shower. You strip out of your armor and gather up your washing supplies. Then you conduct the long walk to the shower trailers. My god that is a long line!!! Oh well sweat don't go away by itseft you are going to have to wait. Time ticks buy and you are further up in line. Lets see I have been here a half an hour and.... wait a minute I havent moved at all the line just got longer behind me.
Two hours and fourty-five minutes later...... You are back at camp. Feels good to be clean. "Do you want to go shoping and get some lunch at merchants row?" a cute petite voice calls out from behind a tent "so far six of us are going ."
"Sure" you reply.
Your little caravan walks up to sea of vendors. You have one hundred and eighty six dollars and fifty-seven cents. Good to know you filled your gas tank so no frieght to the trip home. Damn thats a nice sword! two hundrend and twenty bucks though. Keep moving. Hey that drum there is only eighty. Fine now you have one hundred six dollars and fifty-seven cents. SHIT!!!! a vendor five merchants down, on the same street, has that same drum, tuned better for sixty-five. Too late now!
Ah hagas, now there is a lunch for warriors. "Three bucks please" says a rather scary looking individual handing you a small bowl of gut mush with two crackers. You find a small opening at the table between a couple of poeple arguing wether or not one of their shoes is period. You begin to dig in. Well mabey this place doesn't make EVERYTHING taste great! "Where did my friends run off to anyway? I guess I lost them when I payed too much for that drum. Oh well, still got my hagus!" you sarcasticaly think to yourself.
You have retuned once again to camp. "So are we going to throw a party or go wandering?" you ask to the others at camp.
"Were going to wander. We only got five cases of pilsner, vodka and juice, two fiths of rum, a bottle of scotch, that keg of home brew anguss made, six bottles of wine, fourteen pints of mead, some gin, a half gallon of tequila, and some of the peprmint schnaps left. There just simply isn't enough booze for us to hold a party." one of them replys with all the seriousness of an imperial coronation.
Anywhere else you would have been taken aback by the comment but for some reason it made sence here.
Time ticks again once more and you tried to kill some by chopping some wood with an ax and tapping on the skin of your new drum. Others in your camp take cat naps in the shade. As one of them begins to snor you realize between chopping wood and pounding on a drum you should probably leave.
You make your way from camp to camp saying hello to friend newly met over the last couple of nights and a few you havent seen since the last war. Before you know it, the sun is making it's way towards the horizon. As you begin to return to camp a rather unatractive person says " Hi!" and places one arm around your waist and the other on your ass. You think to yourself who in the hell is this person. "Don't you rmember me" the person asks "we played cloven fruit last night"
You really don't remember them and say "Oh yeah how could I forget?"Using every single slip away line you can think of, you free yourself from their grasping conversation. You met up with your travel party just in time for the sunset. You start off light reminding yourself that you puked this morning so just a beer. You all move to a camp on the next road and as you walk in, a plump man, in a full beard, with a lazy eye says "Ya want some chilli?" as he hovers over a huge pot of the stuff stiring it with his dirk.
You say "why not I'm gonna need some dinner." The chilli is awesome and it's a good thing you chose beer, they go well together. you hang awhile with your friends and realize there is not going to be any drumming or dancing here tonight and you say your thanks and move on. Now it is full on dark and a small cloaked man holding a candle lamp stops you in the street. "You are going to hell for your sins you fowl and retched creature!" says his pare of pale dry lips from under his cloak hood. KEEP MOVING!
Hey in the distance you hear the sound of drums...... You make your way to the party and realize they are all playing independently of each other and very much off beat. None of the dancers are enjoying themselves either. KEEP MOVING!
Then you once again detect the sound of drums....... After a long walk you find the street that the party is on. The music is wonderful and so is the dancing. You make your way to the bar and realize your camp did have enough alcohol to do this. The drinking is on, some of this, that runs out, some of that, that runs out, before you know it you are lost in the scene and you don't even know what all you drank anymore but your stomach is telling you that it does not agree with hagus and chilli. You ignor the stomach pains and keep on partying. Damn it got cold!!!! You realize that no matter how close you get to the fire you still can't stay warm anymore. You begin to leave when a beautiful maiden in in a bustiae asks you if you can escort her back to camp. "Of course my lady" and the two of you hold to each other tight to fight off the cold. You get to her tent and one thing leads to another and the two of you make love.
The next mornig you awake not so cold as you are snuggled to the lady. Then she turns to you and you realize that it is the woman who you didn't find so attractive while you were sober but swore to you, you played cloven fruit with her two nights prior.

Just Twenty-Four Hours At Estrella War.

Me too. And sometimes I don't even get drunk because I'm the designated driver/walker. Isn't responsibility supposed to by sexy?

And leave the camcorder at home---you know how it can just KILL the orgy buzz....LOL

Sorry--this thread is getting way to serious--trading tips on orgies??

Re: SEX and the SCA
Achbar,
I've heard myths and rumours of great orgiastic parties at Pennsic but I think those tiems never were or the stoires over exagerated. invitations not withstanding I think if you want an orgy you must needs plan it your self and invite at least 10 times as many as you expect the first year.

Hmmmm, If I am going nto plan an orgy, I had best start planning it now! Ok, who
wants to come?

You know they keep saying that if you can't get laid in the SCA, you can't get laid at all.. Well, It has yet to happen at Pennsic for me. The closest that ever happened was meeting a lady who happened to be in the army and we chanced upon talking and she invited me back to her camp that night.

Well the instructions she gave me was so confusing and that being my first pennsic XXX I got lost and could not find her camp in the dark.

I think some of us are just plain hopeless.

Hmm, "what happens at Pensic stays at Pensic"............and what not.............