Hello everyone!

I realize it's been a long time since I posted. It's been a long time since I've been on Tribes period. I've gone through a lot this past couple of months, and I've decided it's time to take the reins again and come back.

I've had a very distressing illness these past couple of months that leaves me in pain when I sit up for too long, which makes work very hard to do. I've gone to doctors and they're clueless. No one knows really what to do. I still have a few appointments left to try, but not a whole lot has helped.

One thing has, which was Acupuncture. She was the only woman who had a clue as to what was wrong, which was deficient qi and blood flow.

This fits, because for the duration of the illness and a little bit before, I've been completely unable to mediate. My sensei tested my chakras, and my spiritual eye is dead right now. I can't connect to the spirits, I can't journey, I can't even pray very well.

Yesterday I was in a car accident that could have very, very, VERY easily have been fatal. The car lost control on the highway and fishtailed into a U-turn during rush hour traffic. Somehow we managed to hit the wall instead of another car, and no one was hurt. No one even got whiplash. The car even hit at the right angle to not deploy the airbags.

I tried very hard to meditate and journey so I could thank the spirits very fervently for my life but I couldn't even do that. I settled for thinking really hard and hoping my thoughts would be heard.

In the meantime, my friend and roommate is a very spiritual person, and her prayers are always answered. That car accident was a direct result of a prayer that she have a way to fix her car or get a new one by something happening that expressly would not hurt anyone. And it came about because she swerved to avoid something...and that something was a flash of light in the road that looked like a person.

I've asked her to pray for me to get over this crippling illness, and she said the answer she keeps getting is it's a spiritual sickness.

I recognize I rejected a lot of help over the summer...I've been lost and pulled in many directions. I have two senseis trying to teach me, and I just don't know what to do. What I really want to do is get back into this community and attend drum circles with you guys and meet up and understand maybe what needs to be done.

I recognize also that many times we're cut off because we've done something presumptuous. I don't know if I did something like that. Maybe by rejecting your kind help and having trouble getting the time to do what people have taught me has pissed off the spirits and I wouldn't blame them.

In short...I'm very sorry for my absence, and such. If there's any guidance you can give...I'm eager. I think the place I fit in best spiritually is here at Spiderlinks; I just need to get back to my roots and start over.

Thanks a lot you guys.
Elondris