I began the drive down to Oklahoma on Thursday at around noon after loading the car with individually wrapped cheese slices. I stopped just inside the Arkansas state line to sleep at a (no) rest area. It was muggy so I opened the window (which was difficult with so much cheese in the car), letting in mosquitoes that tried to keep me up all night (they had their iPods cranked up listening to outtakes from some forgotten Tiffany CD). I rolled the window up and fended off the attack for awhile. It became pretty warm as the car burned so I started it up and cooled things off a bit with the A/C. Needless to say, sleep was elusive that night (no warm milk, cookies, or strong sedatives available). I started the second half of the trip around 7:34am. The weather became a little nasty once I arrived in Oklahoma (two badgers went flying overhead caught in a gust). After the short business meeting the wind kicked up and mangled a few tents, including the huge tent that was covering our stage. Beer and peanuts were strewn about into crop circles. Richard arrived around 8:30pm, roughly 2 hours after me. We were able to check into the Holy Inn Princess Cabins without a problem. There were used mints stuck to our pillows and the fridge was stocked with Blue Diamond light beer and a bag of moldy pretzels as per our rider.
We arrived on site just in time to get organized (too much starch in our leisure suits though) and go play our first show at 10:30am. We played and eventually an audience appeared (in the beer tent line). At the end of the day, we ate at a local restaurant next to a dog kennel. We returned to the hotel and jumped in the pool to cool off. Unfortunately the water had been drained.
Sunday went about the same as Saturday except that 24 hours had passed. We had to pack everything up after leaving the hotel since we needed to check out. Richard loaded up his microbus with his collection of tie-dyed blankets and Guatemalan underwear. I enjoyed some fruit loops for breakfast courtesy of the free, incontinent breakfast. Eggs don’t always sit well (they don't fetch, and they sure as hell can't catch a frisbee), so cereal took care of business. At the end of the day, we loaded up, drove into Oklahoma, and ate at a really good Mexican restaurant. We had macaroni & cheese, pancakes, and something called a saco-de-toro filled with jello pudding.

I started my drive back home on Monday with a stop in Memphis where I took approximately 527 photos of a brick and visited a place called the Blue Monkey's Royal Order of Prescott Cheese and Bologna Factory, Inc. I ordered the stuffed mushrooms (excellent) and a spinach and artichoke “crisp." It was like a pizza baked on a tortilla made out of polystyrene. Very good… I drove into Nashville and got a room for the night. They were out of beds but made amends by providing me with a free folding chair next to the ice machine for 50% off! It was great and I only had to reach out and touch an ice cube. After waking up, I made my way into Nashville to check things out. Barbara Mandrill was driving a steam roller over Vince Gill for charity. I had a look at the old Belle Honey Meade Theater (which was under construction…again). This magnificent theater was where I enjoyed classics like "Earnest Goes To Jail" and the unforgettable uh...whatever. I visited the Monster Mushroom Head for a tasty pizza (pesto, undried tomatoes, peta, head cheese, and fake wine) after a stop at the Great Escape (a head shop for Circus performers). Eventually I made my way back on the road (after a few swerves and a small skid). I saw a squirrel.