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I had a beautiful fairy friend....
She was a shining spirit - full of life and creativity....
But most of all - she was the embodiment of Pure, Unconditional Love....
She loved everybody - always smiling - always saying "hello Love", "goodbye Love"...
Always singing "Love, Love, Love"....
Her life was a work of art and her being was pure inspiration and joy....
I loved her - everyone she ever met loved her....
Then I found out she was brutally murdered....
She was in Asia - home alone - someone tried to rob her - she fought back and was stabbed to death....
Grief, shock and disbelief overcame me....
I could not get my head around it - I could not believe that this could happen to one of the most wonderful people on this earth....
she did not deserve to go like this....
I could not imagine the fear and terror she must have felt with her last breath....
the thought of it made me physically ill....
I understand that we all must die....
and yes, it's tragic that she had to pass - her time had come - etc....
But NOT like this - how could someone so peaceful and full of unconditional love and light suffer her last day of life like this....
This can not be the way - this is just not fair - this can't be the way the universe works - it just can't.....
A week had passed after I heard the news...
I couldn't come to terms with it....
I was listening to a Pema Chodron discourse on audio....
I was deep in a meditative state...
Then Pema Chodron said "whatever you choose to be aware of - the universe will serve up the opposite to help you become more aware...
if you want to practice patience - the universe will give you irritating situations so you can become aware of your impatience....
if you want to practice mindfulness - the universe will give you mind-less situations so you can become more aware...."
At that moment I received a download from the universe....
My friend was murdered because she believed in unconditional love.... she WAS the embodiment of Unconditional Love...
so she was killed in the worst way in order for her soul to practice and forgive and unconditionally love her killer....
This was her soul lesson...
If she did - her soul would not come back to this earth plane as a human - but ascend to the next realm of Angels and Muses....
The universe always unfolds for our greatest good - to bring our souls closer to source....
The universe only gives you what you can handle.... and her soul must have been so close to pure that she could handle it....
otherwise it wouldn't have been so....
This was the message I received....
and at that moment I felt like I understood....
and an awesome presence of peace came over me....
"she can do it" - I thought... she can transcend....!
I wholeheartedly believed this message - I truly believed that she was liberated from the mortal bondage of death and re-birth and that she has now gone to somewhere higher - where her love and light could do so much more profound work than on this human realm...
Today they found her killer....
he sold the things he had stolen from her home for $300...
that was all her life was worth... 300 dollars....
And instantly, that peace I had felt before vanished....
Instead I heard a voice in my head telling me that what I had realized before - what I thought was a download from the universe - was just my mind's way of rationalizing this heinous crime.... because I could not emotionally handle her death....
The voice said that there is no justice in this universe....
and that my friends death was just a cold, cruel, accident - it could happen to anybody - it just happened to be one of the most precious creatures on the planet....
If this is true - if there really is no rhyme or reason - if it just happened to be wrong place - wrong time - then I am not sure I can go on...
Then this whole world is pointless.... and everything is just random....
and there is no use to try to love - to try to help - to try to heal....
if this could just "happen" - then there is no karma - no wrong or right....
I want to believe that what my insight from the universe revealed was real - that there is some sort of order to this universe - some sort of soul evolution - some sort of kind universally all-loving spirit that guides us for our highest and greatest good....
but my mind is telling me that it's just a big rationalization and that the universe just exists - it is indifferent - and doesn't really care one way or the other...
it just goes on....
I don't know which one is real anymore...
I don't know what is real anymore...
I don't know what the point of this existence is....
I am feeling confused, cynical and a bit schizophrenic by all of this....
any insights from this tribe will be a great help in helping me to sort this tragedy out and come to some sort of terms....
Thank you for just letting me blurt this all out...
She was a shining spirit - full of life and creativity....
But most of all - she was the embodiment of Pure, Unconditional Love....
She loved everybody - always smiling - always saying "hello Love", "goodbye Love"...
Always singing "Love, Love, Love"....
Her life was a work of art and her being was pure inspiration and joy....
I loved her - everyone she ever met loved her....
Then I found out she was brutally murdered....
She was in Asia - home alone - someone tried to rob her - she fought back and was stabbed to death....
Grief, shock and disbelief overcame me....
I could not get my head around it - I could not believe that this could happen to one of the most wonderful people on this earth....
she did not deserve to go like this....
I could not imagine the fear and terror she must have felt with her last breath....
the thought of it made me physically ill....
I understand that we all must die....
and yes, it's tragic that she had to pass - her time had come - etc....
But NOT like this - how could someone so peaceful and full of unconditional love and light suffer her last day of life like this....
This can not be the way - this is just not fair - this can't be the way the universe works - it just can't.....
A week had passed after I heard the news...
I couldn't come to terms with it....
I was listening to a Pema Chodron discourse on audio....
I was deep in a meditative state...
Then Pema Chodron said "whatever you choose to be aware of - the universe will serve up the opposite to help you become more aware...
if you want to practice patience - the universe will give you irritating situations so you can become aware of your impatience....
if you want to practice mindfulness - the universe will give you mind-less situations so you can become more aware...."
At that moment I received a download from the universe....
My friend was murdered because she believed in unconditional love.... she WAS the embodiment of Unconditional Love...
so she was killed in the worst way in order for her soul to practice and forgive and unconditionally love her killer....
This was her soul lesson...
If she did - her soul would not come back to this earth plane as a human - but ascend to the next realm of Angels and Muses....
The universe always unfolds for our greatest good - to bring our souls closer to source....
The universe only gives you what you can handle.... and her soul must have been so close to pure that she could handle it....
otherwise it wouldn't have been so....
This was the message I received....
and at that moment I felt like I understood....
and an awesome presence of peace came over me....
"she can do it" - I thought... she can transcend....!
I wholeheartedly believed this message - I truly believed that she was liberated from the mortal bondage of death and re-birth and that she has now gone to somewhere higher - where her love and light could do so much more profound work than on this human realm...
Today they found her killer....
he sold the things he had stolen from her home for $300...
that was all her life was worth... 300 dollars....
And instantly, that peace I had felt before vanished....
Instead I heard a voice in my head telling me that what I had realized before - what I thought was a download from the universe - was just my mind's way of rationalizing this heinous crime.... because I could not emotionally handle her death....
The voice said that there is no justice in this universe....
and that my friends death was just a cold, cruel, accident - it could happen to anybody - it just happened to be one of the most precious creatures on the planet....
If this is true - if there really is no rhyme or reason - if it just happened to be wrong place - wrong time - then I am not sure I can go on...
Then this whole world is pointless.... and everything is just random....
and there is no use to try to love - to try to help - to try to heal....
if this could just "happen" - then there is no karma - no wrong or right....
I want to believe that what my insight from the universe revealed was real - that there is some sort of order to this universe - some sort of soul evolution - some sort of kind universally all-loving spirit that guides us for our highest and greatest good....
but my mind is telling me that it's just a big rationalization and that the universe just exists - it is indifferent - and doesn't really care one way or the other...
it just goes on....
I don't know which one is real anymore...
I don't know what is real anymore...
I don't know what the point of this existence is....
I am feeling confused, cynical and a bit schizophrenic by all of this....
any insights from this tribe will be a great help in helping me to sort this tragedy out and come to some sort of terms....
Thank you for just letting me blurt this all out...
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Re: my friend was murdered...
Wed, March 5, 2008 - 12:42 PMhi, i don't know you, but this struggle that is plaguing you is at the forefront of my mind and soul too and i feel very called to respond to you.
First i want to offer my condolences for your friend. Any tragedy such as that makes me deeply saddened because it does encourage the belief that maybe there is no God, there is no Karma, this is just a fend for yourself Universe, which is why so many beings want to control as much as they can because there is no consequences.
but, after everytime I feel of or read about a moment where great misfortune occurred, and i get over my initial anger of wanting to be more powerful than the oppressor thus to do something even worse to them than was done to the innocent, i feel the highest form of reciprocation, which is to forgive. To remember that something scarred the one that hurts long before the event when they were in the state that inflicted the harm upon those that did not deserve it.
To love is of the most high and it should not be forgotten that for those wishing to ascend, this path must be taken. But i do not in any form wish to suggest that to sit and let such violations happen is ok.
someone gave me a simple image to think of to fill the gap of the type of being i believe is necessary to both exist in the high vibration of love but to be strong enough to protect against those who have no respect for life.
An Angel wearing Army boots.
full of compassion
full of love
full of light
but when karmic retribution is required
they bring it!
i don't know..... i wish there was something i could say to help you get through this horrible event in your life
but time will be the only healer. I'm sure your friends who knew her as well will help comfort you through the grieving time
and ultimately you will find the right path for you to be the most true you can be
there are many roads
they all lead to the same end
consult some mystics, see what they have to say
i think you'll do fine
good luck
Kai
