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It is 4:33 in the morning on the Mayan Day Out of Time, and I just put the finishing touches on Doo Doo Magic (as if Doo Doo Magic could ever be finished). At any rate, I added a fifth direction to the directions of Space, Crap, Flesh, and Dream. The one element from standard occultist magic that I wish to keep- you guessed it- is fire. How could I quite unrighteously call myself Kali and leave fire out of my own mutated occultism? It is the alchemical fire that burns the crap of the past and enables the fake fury of magic warfare to destroy all evil, including multi-national corporations like Monsanto.
For those of you who don’t know about Monsanto, they’re the corporate overlord of genetically modified foods and hormones in our meats and dairy, including cancer-causing rBGH. Last year, they bought Seeds of Change, a huge organic food company. Although their boxed quinoa and salad dressings still read “organic,” it would be no surprise if they are substituting their own predatory grains and vegetables in place of these once organic products. In Brazil and Africa, amongst other places, they plant their seeds in the soil only to have them eat up the native crops. After these predatory crops take over the land, Monsanto harvests the seeds and sells them back to the real farmers of the land, who then become monetarily enslaved to Monsanto. Can you say “feudalism?”
Good luck protesting against a multi-national corporation the magnitude of Monsanto when corporations have more rights than natural-born American citizens. Your rebellion is useless in a system designed to smash the very resistance against it. Besides, The Law of Attraction say that putting one’s mental energy and attention towards something one doesn’t want will actually manifest more of that very same unwanted energy. The question is then, how do we get rid of these evil corporate giants that are eating freedom one third-world county at a time?
The answer is simple: Magic Warfare. In Magic Warfare, we do not say, “Please Monsanto, don’t hurt our poor little organic potatoes with your big bad seeds.” We do not say, “Fuck off Monsanto- you can’t dump cancer-causing agents in our rivers.” We do not even say, “stop feeding our cattle hormones that are causing the average meat-eating little girl to get her menstrual cycle at 7 and 8 years of age.” Nor do we take the time to write to our all-to impotent congressman who have our best interests at heart. Asking our government for favors at this point in an insult to human intelligence and a waste of paper at that. Unless of course, you’re one of those fags who takes his greatest pleasure sending endless emails to petition for the endangered Zimbwean butterflies who are being brutally tortured in the merciless jaws of the Ooboozabba Baba tribe of Flatterglatia.
In Magic Warfare, we do not, in fact, abide by any of the laws of the material world. In essence, our message is simple: “Monsanto, we will destroy your etheric body in the astral dimenstion.” After all, anything that has a physical body has an astral body as well, including genetically modified corn and carrots, which we threw into the fire for this particular doodoo spell. And by causing harm to the astral body of any entity, you are essentially manifesting the physical harm to that entity as well. This is the same principle that VooDoo uses, and VooDoo indeed comprises the yang principle of DooDoo magic. It gives it teeth with which to chomp.
“But wait, isn’t VooDoo black magic? I don’t want the bad luck that comes from a spell if it doesn’t work and gets reflected back to me.” That’s where the feminine principle of Dada comes in to lessen the blow by turning VooDoo into DooDoo. Truth be told, we brown magicians know nothing, and are protected by our self-proclaimed ignorance.
Besides, the kind of black magic voodoo that most people think of involves those silly little dolls that are supposed to represent the recipient of the spell. Corporations, on the other hand, are not people. They are legal fictions and as is such, deserve all the psychic artillery one can muster. This psychic artillery can take many forms: symbols of the corporation cremated in the holy hell-fury of a fire, groups of Goths masturbating with the collective intent of sending out their orgasmic energy to the destruction of the entity in question, a costumed noise band parade through the city. Any kind of improvisatory magic designed to destroy these legal fictions (as well as the monotonous fictions running through peoples’ heads) cannot be bad magic. The form doesn’t really even matter so much as the intent.
A huge benefit of Doodoo magic warfare, is that the police can’t arrest your for using your imagination. They might try, but if they do, just talk to them in Russian Gibberish from behind a pig mask, and I guarantee they will leave you alone. Take it from this Brown Magician who manifested in her living room the very next morning after the Monsanto spell- the brother of a reporter who follows Monsanto around the world to reveal the blood-sucking scum that they are: Magic Warfare works.
-Kali Blah Blah
Yes, this has been an interrogation from the 9th ring of the Plasmodium Zex, gyrating the zenith of civilization like a retarded Asian bellydancer. Watch how she spasms. See how she gimps along the wrong song with a gong welcoming CHAOS.
And in this momemt, all the spittle and cake of the plasmodium has heaved itself upon the sacrificial altar for inspection- every last nuance reveals its twisted divinity- every speck of salt on every stale pretzel- every last ingrown hair on the vast expanse of jerkied sex appeal.
In this wailing biosphere of neon sweat and shamelessness, we fine our good fortune. We are the chosen ones- runny pantyhose and all.
For those of you who don’t know about Monsanto, they’re the corporate overlord of genetically modified foods and hormones in our meats and dairy, including cancer-causing rBGH. Last year, they bought Seeds of Change, a huge organic food company. Although their boxed quinoa and salad dressings still read “organic,” it would be no surprise if they are substituting their own predatory grains and vegetables in place of these once organic products. In Brazil and Africa, amongst other places, they plant their seeds in the soil only to have them eat up the native crops. After these predatory crops take over the land, Monsanto harvests the seeds and sells them back to the real farmers of the land, who then become monetarily enslaved to Monsanto. Can you say “feudalism?”
Good luck protesting against a multi-national corporation the magnitude of Monsanto when corporations have more rights than natural-born American citizens. Your rebellion is useless in a system designed to smash the very resistance against it. Besides, The Law of Attraction say that putting one’s mental energy and attention towards something one doesn’t want will actually manifest more of that very same unwanted energy. The question is then, how do we get rid of these evil corporate giants that are eating freedom one third-world county at a time?
The answer is simple: Magic Warfare. In Magic Warfare, we do not say, “Please Monsanto, don’t hurt our poor little organic potatoes with your big bad seeds.” We do not say, “Fuck off Monsanto- you can’t dump cancer-causing agents in our rivers.” We do not even say, “stop feeding our cattle hormones that are causing the average meat-eating little girl to get her menstrual cycle at 7 and 8 years of age.” Nor do we take the time to write to our all-to impotent congressman who have our best interests at heart. Asking our government for favors at this point in an insult to human intelligence and a waste of paper at that. Unless of course, you’re one of those fags who takes his greatest pleasure sending endless emails to petition for the endangered Zimbwean butterflies who are being brutally tortured in the merciless jaws of the Ooboozabba Baba tribe of Flatterglatia.
In Magic Warfare, we do not, in fact, abide by any of the laws of the material world. In essence, our message is simple: “Monsanto, we will destroy your etheric body in the astral dimenstion.” After all, anything that has a physical body has an astral body as well, including genetically modified corn and carrots, which we threw into the fire for this particular doodoo spell. And by causing harm to the astral body of any entity, you are essentially manifesting the physical harm to that entity as well. This is the same principle that VooDoo uses, and VooDoo indeed comprises the yang principle of DooDoo magic. It gives it teeth with which to chomp.
“But wait, isn’t VooDoo black magic? I don’t want the bad luck that comes from a spell if it doesn’t work and gets reflected back to me.” That’s where the feminine principle of Dada comes in to lessen the blow by turning VooDoo into DooDoo. Truth be told, we brown magicians know nothing, and are protected by our self-proclaimed ignorance.
Besides, the kind of black magic voodoo that most people think of involves those silly little dolls that are supposed to represent the recipient of the spell. Corporations, on the other hand, are not people. They are legal fictions and as is such, deserve all the psychic artillery one can muster. This psychic artillery can take many forms: symbols of the corporation cremated in the holy hell-fury of a fire, groups of Goths masturbating with the collective intent of sending out their orgasmic energy to the destruction of the entity in question, a costumed noise band parade through the city. Any kind of improvisatory magic designed to destroy these legal fictions (as well as the monotonous fictions running through peoples’ heads) cannot be bad magic. The form doesn’t really even matter so much as the intent.
A huge benefit of Doodoo magic warfare, is that the police can’t arrest your for using your imagination. They might try, but if they do, just talk to them in Russian Gibberish from behind a pig mask, and I guarantee they will leave you alone. Take it from this Brown Magician who manifested in her living room the very next morning after the Monsanto spell- the brother of a reporter who follows Monsanto around the world to reveal the blood-sucking scum that they are: Magic Warfare works.
-Kali Blah Blah
Yes, this has been an interrogation from the 9th ring of the Plasmodium Zex, gyrating the zenith of civilization like a retarded Asian bellydancer. Watch how she spasms. See how she gimps along the wrong song with a gong welcoming CHAOS.
And in this momemt, all the spittle and cake of the plasmodium has heaved itself upon the sacrificial altar for inspection- every last nuance reveals its twisted divinity- every speck of salt on every stale pretzel- every last ingrown hair on the vast expanse of jerkied sex appeal.
In this wailing biosphere of neon sweat and shamelessness, we fine our good fortune. We are the chosen ones- runny pantyhose and all.
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Tucson
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