I find it's helpful to ask, "What do you need from me?" or "How can I help?" Sometimes when we try to interpret what another person needs, we act on our perceptions, which may or may not be correct evaluations of the situation. They are certainly colored by our life experience. So, to get to the source, it can be helpful to ask, "What do you need?" or "How can I help?" It helps you get a truer understanding and it helps the other crystallize exactly what their needs are.

And just as we can misinterpret what we think others need, others also misinterpret what we say and do and need. Their perceptions are colored by their life experience too. As well as their body chemistry, the influence of emotions, stress and often poor nutrition. It's a wonder we can understand each other at all. Anyway, that is just to say that his perceptions are colored by his own stuff. You can't really do anything about that. You can, though, just keep asking, "How can I help?" All the while, understanding that you may not be able to. Sometimes an ear is all we can offer. And sometimes it's all the other person needs.

Point him here. Let him read that.

also I was thinking that, from my own life, telling someone you love them can be overrated. Unconditional Love happens all on its own, without really needing to say it. If you can feel it, then thats love. In my life, it does not need to be valiated verbally. I think allot can be said about love through more action and less words.

MY dear JJ...from what you presented, it seems you only suggested giving him some alone time and you didn't break up.

Revisit the conversation and let him know you were not breaking up, but simply wondering if he wanted space. Let him know you are there for him and won't leave unless he needs the air time.

in his moment of stress he heard you from a painful space, even though you were not trying to hurt him.

ask him what he needs,...and he'll guide you