I interpret that quote to mean we must not be too concerned with what others think of us, say to us, how they judge us or their opinions. I don't read it to say that we shouldn't be concerned about others at all. I think the key word in it is "too".

From a personal perspective, I think helping you, helps me. No matter how sad your circumstances, if I am doing something to try to alleviate your suffering, it makes me feel happier. Early in the AIDS crisis, I began to work with people with AIDS. I had no cure for AIDS. There was no test for AIDS. The outlook looked pretty grim for most people. Yet I helped people in some ways. I helped people keep their pets. I helped people feel that someone cared about them. I helped find the resources they needed to ease their suffering or to meet their basic living needs. I helped people feel heard. I helped people. And that made me feel wonderful. So while I might suffer occasional sadness at someone's situation or at their passing, the joys I encountered more than outweighed them.

And while I think Mother Teresa may not have been all that happy, I don't think it was because of her service. According to her diaires it was because she doubted her faith. She doubted God. For someone who has devoted their life to God, that's a huge thing. I think it was her service to people that kept her going though, that gave her life meaning.

Service is its own reward. It gives more to the giver than to the recipient. By healing each other, we ultimately heal ourselves. And ultimately we heal the world.

Turning our back on the world though, tuning out the suffering, that leads to more suffering. It allows the original suffering to fester and grow and it also disconnects us from each other and from our own feelings. These things are destructive. For example, many people have disconnected from the suffering of animals in factory farming. That allows factory farming to exist and continue to spread. Many people have disconnected from the suffering of people in wars. That allows wars to continue. Many people have disconnected from the suffering of people who are starving. That allows them to starve. Helping, in however small a way, makes a difference in us. And ultimately it is what changes these circumstances.

When we help, we are stating to the universe, "I am powerful. I can do something here.". When we turn a blind eye, we are stating, "I am powerless. There's nothing I can do." Authentic power feels good. Inauthentic power, in other words, exercising the power to look away, to stick our heads in the sand, to turn off our feelings, feels crappy. It destroys us bit by bit and eats us alive from the inside out.

operating words "too concerned"...
that doesn't mean not concerned at all, but past the point of 'overly concerned' (where 'concern' is indistinguishable from 'unnecessary & unwarranted interference') ~ a point which would be measured differently for & by every person

the *trick* is knowing where that point is for yourself (& how it may change over time)

love all-ways,
mem

I believe that we are all at the level of our essence interconnected and not really separate so empathy for others is a natural thing, they are a part of us. But I want to make a distinction here between the level of ego and the level of consciousness. At the level of ego we are indeed separate, that's what the ego thrives on but it isn't ultimately real. This is also the level where what we usually call happiness exists (which I prefer to call pleasure) and where we find conditional love.

However there is a deeper level at which we are not separate, the level of consciousness, being or higher self whatever you want to call it. This is where we access unconditional love, compassion (because we're not separate here) and joy. If we are concerned with others at the level of ego then we get burned out, frustrated and disillusioned eventually because this level while often intense and dramatic is stuck in the illusion of separateness, its unconscious. If you access the level of being in yourself which is always there in the present moment you can relate to others in a much deeper way that isn't threatening, draining or depressing.

This is very important for people in the helping professions because I would say the quality and success of their work is really dependent on the level of consciousness they do it from. I'm saying that as a counselor myself. Thats my take on this in any case........

agreed, TOO is the clue...
we cannot live in islolation... and... we must live our own lives...

I note a hint of The Four Agreements in that quote. Especially the second agreement; Don't take anything personally, and the Third: Don't make assumptions.

When I worry about what others say or make assumptions about the way other people act I am defeating my own happiness. It is that simple.

It does not rule out the possibility to help other people when they are in need of help or to be there a good citizen otherwise. It just eliminates the need to depend on others for our own happiness.

That is my take on it anyway. Thank you for the quote.

Proper compassion implies always being centered (living in Gwenwed).