well, lets just take people

"if you want to be interesting, you have to be interested."

If you can't even love yourself, how will you love someone else over time?

If you think its stupid to love yourself, how will you find the humility to love another such as you?

Where will you find the strength to love another after the cut so deep, and the perception stuck on the negative see no other way?

Even as I stand with another, I am alone, my strength comes from self love, because if I dont give a fuck, who will?

Dont let anyone should on you, or must you into being something your not.

Heal and come to realize your always alone, its the people who are comfortable being alone who find love without need, and balance love over time with strength.

People arnt nice, they just are, and you focus on what you think they are, and thats what shows up for you regardless of any other information that you couldnt see past your focus...People are more then you will ever know, just look at yourself...

mark -- i know in your infidelity post, you just put a few words and everyone just chimed in with our opinions based on what each of us thought you mean.

but this one is confusing to me... the first two sentences make sense, but without context, it's hard to give any suggestions or observations. and the other sentences are simply confusing to me, particularly the part about your beliefs about women, which theoretically has nothing to do with your ability to love yourself.

so, while i have a lot of thoughts about ways to love yourself, i think i'd like to ask for you to restate your question if you would. what is it that you would like our thoughts about?

Mark this is the second time you've postulated that women aren't nice or can't be trusted. All women? Really? And yet you come here to a tribe that is partially made up of women and seek our counsel -- not just in this thread but in the infidelity thread and also in the "to not believe in love" thread. In both cases, many of the people who reached out to help were women. Is that not nice? If you insult all women, that might be part of the reason you're having such troubles having relationships with them. I know it makes me feel less inclined to continue to offer my help. I've had a bad relationship with a man too but I don't hold all men responsible for his bad behavior.

I agree with Leslie. I need clarification of what you're really asking here. Do you want guidance on how to love yourself or on how to get over an infidelity? What sparked this question in the first place? When you think of your Self, what feelings does it conjure? What do you think love looks like? How does Love manifest in behaviors?

If we don't accept ourcellves, it is a lot more difficult for other people to accept us. I gots problem, you got problems and so does everyone else i know. Accepting ourcellves and accepting others, faults and all, puts us in a position to honestly and effectively work on these problems and to improve our own quality of life and help others. I think that is what people are talking about.

I love women. They are nice. They are not nice. They are skinny. They are fat. They are remarkably intelligent. They are dumb as rocks.

I mean they make up approx half of the human race. Personally , i think their half for the most part smells better and is prettier to look at.......but these are personal choices i reckon. I do not think women are more not nice than men though. Definitely, some women are the nicest people i know

Mixed bag everywhere i look, mark. Up to us to sort these things out as best we can, remembering that change is the only constant.