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I'm not sure how it may be for you, but whenever the Holy Spirit gets involved in my life, it is often confirmed by certain scripture over the 'lesson' or 'season'.
As I recall this beautiful day and the wonderful things that took place for it to be possible, I feel I must first start with the scriptures that JUST came.
If you know these verses, skip em, if your bible's handy, and you'd rather read your version, go for it. I've put a line of ~~~~~ at the end for fast scrolling to skip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 John 4:1-21 (King James Version)
1 John 4
1Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
2Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:
3And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.
4Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
5They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.
6We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.
7Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
8He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
9In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
10Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
12No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
13Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.
14And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world.
15Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.
16And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
17Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
19We love him, because he first loved us.
20If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
21And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh-Bah-Kay-Be! Them's my excited noises I make, phonetically spelled. I'm pretty stoked, as I jokingly had what some have come to refer to as my 'Gandolf plays with butterflies' moments today.
(for those who haven't seen the Lord of the Rings or read them, google the gandolf butterfly scenes sometime, pretty cool theater display of connectivity)
So, this Rob Bell guy. I mentioned before that I wound up at his packed house of a preaching type meeting, one the second night that I submitted to the urge to go pray for Ann. The first evening that I did that, the wind suddenly picked up and I looked up from my prayer to notice her about to walk across view at the bottom of the hill. I avoided eye contact, and felt horrible because I knew I wasn't supposed to. I certainly didn't want to go again a second night, As I certainly wasn't trying to own a piece of land in our common neighborhood that she would avoid -I had much reservation about coming out the second night.
But I submitted. When she says something to the effect of, are you sure that voice is telling you to do these things... I always feel kinda bad, but only because I know how hard the Left-Handed Blessings can be sometimes. I don't like being a part of the things that bring anyone suffering. I don't like to make people suffer, and it burdens me to an unbearable emotional state which you guys have witnessed in previous posts. But I submitted anyway. Because of Love. There was much sudden fear that came up to get me to not go, but because of Love, I did.
I wasn't there for very long, really. I pulled out my guitar to play a praise song, but there were a lot of people gathering. It was a friday night event, during the Iowa State Fair. Hard to get anyone to gather in that type of 'critical mass' during that time. So, I played quietly, and smiled as nice as I could to the people that walked by... surely my burden shown through my gaze though. A man walks up to me and asks me a question that I can't even remember now. The Spirit took hold and ministered to him with nearly perfect guitar unlike anything I can typically play. He was floored, and I felt that he was going to be late because of me to this meeting.... but that he didn't want to miss this chance. So I asked him what was going on here this night.
:"Rob Bell, I think you'd like him, you guys say a lot of the same types of things.''
turns out he had an extra ticket, as his pastor friend suddenly couldn't come. For as packed as the place was, I may have had the only 'extra ticket'.
I think I mentioned before, that I had intended to carve in this white foam core stuff that I had picked up previously. Imagine my surprise when this particular tour of Rob's is about 'carving in soap bars' and he had given everyone in the audience one to take home. (I about puked when everyone was told to open up these bars, not because I hate soap, but because of the anti-bacterial chemical they put in it completely filling the room)
When I had first walked in though, and had my ticket ripped, I approached the merch table and bought a book of his. I just opened it to one page, and it said exactly what needed to be said to heal the rift with my friend, on that one page... so I bought it. I didn't know that from all the books I had to chose from, and his movies (which kick some serious behind I've recently discovered) I ended up picking up the message for this particular tour. The drops like stars tour. You tube the short video, no words but really amazing. Set the tone for what had just been happening in my life right there. The amount of similarities were pretty endless seemingly, those co-incidences.
Well, skipping a head a bit, since that was a recap of what I ment when I had wrote 2 weeks ago, about Yahweh getting a hold of me in such a cool way. Moral of the story thus far was, I realized that I would deliver that book to Ann, and it would happen through some very precarious divine appointed time because of the situation and the spiritual funk working to destroy it completely....
It wasn't until today. But in the time since I realized that I would have that moment, I was led to prepare for it a bit better, and make certain that some of her other spiritual requests she's posed online could also be answered as well.
Only problem now is, I had about 20-30 pounds of books to carry around with me waiting for that moment. Kinda rough on my back, carrying a guitar with me and my art stuff anyways when I went out side. Made me hurt a bit, and I wasn't interested in walking around the neighbor hood for fear that she might think I was stalking her, when in fact I was only trying to fulfill what is commanded of us all in the Word.
I knew, that I would know when it was the right time to step out and hand it to her, but was worried about loading her up with this much weight in bible/bible resources/and children's story book bible since she loves reading to her kids....
This morning I woke up and knew it would be today. It'd been appearing in my mind more and more recently, and that recent post from the 'mystic gone activist' like myself... about Rob Bell and healthcare, well... I knew it was today.
But how and when, and where would I be able to overcome the 'stalker' fear that she was going to be hit with suddenly I knew for certain if she had seen me....
Hours went by today. I got up and looked out my window, half expecting to see her go walking by. But instead, I saw a white butterfly fly up to my window, flutter there looking in at me and then fluttering off. I live on the third floor, and you don't see that often. Something in me shook me and said, now, and hurry.
So i grabbed the bag of stuff and walked off after the butterfly more or less.... at least in the direction it had gone. And come up to a house where I had recently made acquaintances, and, every time I come there I deliver a gift to them that they have just ran out of... or Amanda will show up randomly and give them coffee or something, just as they run out of coffee, though we don't know it until they look at us and smile and tell us they had just ran out of whatever it was we were led to give them... hard to explain that, but that's our relationship on one level.
As I'm walking buy they were outside sharing a cig with some friends ( a rare thing for them) but I was shook again and told to stand out and talk to them for a moment. K. about 2 mins later, just as I was mentioning that, well, I think I'm out to deliver some books to this chic, ah.. kinda like giving you coffee and stuff... only this time is a bit more difficult. I look up, there she is. There's the hardened heart, and the quick walking away. I dropped my guitar shuffled the stuff out of my bag as quickly as possible, and noticed, here comes the other answer to my prayer... that I wouldn't burden her with walking with a bunch of wieght, as someone comes to pick her up. I kinda giggled to myself because I knew she saw an escape, when it was really more than that. I prayed so intently for a way to make this transaction as least burdensome as possible.
I did have much reservation and a flash of fear about approaching her, since my major weakness is not wanting to bring anyone pain... but well, it was her decision to disfigure any simple lines of communication... is what I told myself to get through that moment and walk up to her.
This, and she's actually interested in fasting?? The right material from an awesome minister put there talking about exactly what has happened and book about the proper coarse for us to take through it. with his full message in it. Amazing book, even if you just like pictures...
Well those two things combined (fasting and the resources to make it much easier to be Christ orientated in her life and her children's) it's pretty much clear sailing from here on out. Tent pegs are firmly planted in place, and the sanctuary in her heart for Him can be established. Pretty much the trump card for the darkness problem. So very excited about that. Wanted you guys to know.
Thanks so much for your prayers!
As I recall this beautiful day and the wonderful things that took place for it to be possible, I feel I must first start with the scriptures that JUST came.
If you know these verses, skip em, if your bible's handy, and you'd rather read your version, go for it. I've put a line of ~~~~~ at the end for fast scrolling to skip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 John 4:1-21 (King James Version)
1 John 4
1Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
2Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:
3And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.
4Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
5They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.
6We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.
7Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
8He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
9In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
10Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
12No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
13Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.
14And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world.
15Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.
16And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
17Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
19We love him, because he first loved us.
20If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
21And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh-Bah-Kay-Be! Them's my excited noises I make, phonetically spelled. I'm pretty stoked, as I jokingly had what some have come to refer to as my 'Gandolf plays with butterflies' moments today.
(for those who haven't seen the Lord of the Rings or read them, google the gandolf butterfly scenes sometime, pretty cool theater display of connectivity)
So, this Rob Bell guy. I mentioned before that I wound up at his packed house of a preaching type meeting, one the second night that I submitted to the urge to go pray for Ann. The first evening that I did that, the wind suddenly picked up and I looked up from my prayer to notice her about to walk across view at the bottom of the hill. I avoided eye contact, and felt horrible because I knew I wasn't supposed to. I certainly didn't want to go again a second night, As I certainly wasn't trying to own a piece of land in our common neighborhood that she would avoid -I had much reservation about coming out the second night.
But I submitted. When she says something to the effect of, are you sure that voice is telling you to do these things... I always feel kinda bad, but only because I know how hard the Left-Handed Blessings can be sometimes. I don't like being a part of the things that bring anyone suffering. I don't like to make people suffer, and it burdens me to an unbearable emotional state which you guys have witnessed in previous posts. But I submitted anyway. Because of Love. There was much sudden fear that came up to get me to not go, but because of Love, I did.
I wasn't there for very long, really. I pulled out my guitar to play a praise song, but there were a lot of people gathering. It was a friday night event, during the Iowa State Fair. Hard to get anyone to gather in that type of 'critical mass' during that time. So, I played quietly, and smiled as nice as I could to the people that walked by... surely my burden shown through my gaze though. A man walks up to me and asks me a question that I can't even remember now. The Spirit took hold and ministered to him with nearly perfect guitar unlike anything I can typically play. He was floored, and I felt that he was going to be late because of me to this meeting.... but that he didn't want to miss this chance. So I asked him what was going on here this night.
:"Rob Bell, I think you'd like him, you guys say a lot of the same types of things.''
turns out he had an extra ticket, as his pastor friend suddenly couldn't come. For as packed as the place was, I may have had the only 'extra ticket'.
I think I mentioned before, that I had intended to carve in this white foam core stuff that I had picked up previously. Imagine my surprise when this particular tour of Rob's is about 'carving in soap bars' and he had given everyone in the audience one to take home. (I about puked when everyone was told to open up these bars, not because I hate soap, but because of the anti-bacterial chemical they put in it completely filling the room)
When I had first walked in though, and had my ticket ripped, I approached the merch table and bought a book of his. I just opened it to one page, and it said exactly what needed to be said to heal the rift with my friend, on that one page... so I bought it. I didn't know that from all the books I had to chose from, and his movies (which kick some serious behind I've recently discovered) I ended up picking up the message for this particular tour. The drops like stars tour. You tube the short video, no words but really amazing. Set the tone for what had just been happening in my life right there. The amount of similarities were pretty endless seemingly, those co-incidences.
Well, skipping a head a bit, since that was a recap of what I ment when I had wrote 2 weeks ago, about Yahweh getting a hold of me in such a cool way. Moral of the story thus far was, I realized that I would deliver that book to Ann, and it would happen through some very precarious divine appointed time because of the situation and the spiritual funk working to destroy it completely....
It wasn't until today. But in the time since I realized that I would have that moment, I was led to prepare for it a bit better, and make certain that some of her other spiritual requests she's posed online could also be answered as well.
Only problem now is, I had about 20-30 pounds of books to carry around with me waiting for that moment. Kinda rough on my back, carrying a guitar with me and my art stuff anyways when I went out side. Made me hurt a bit, and I wasn't interested in walking around the neighbor hood for fear that she might think I was stalking her, when in fact I was only trying to fulfill what is commanded of us all in the Word.
I knew, that I would know when it was the right time to step out and hand it to her, but was worried about loading her up with this much weight in bible/bible resources/and children's story book bible since she loves reading to her kids....
This morning I woke up and knew it would be today. It'd been appearing in my mind more and more recently, and that recent post from the 'mystic gone activist' like myself... about Rob Bell and healthcare, well... I knew it was today.
But how and when, and where would I be able to overcome the 'stalker' fear that she was going to be hit with suddenly I knew for certain if she had seen me....
Hours went by today. I got up and looked out my window, half expecting to see her go walking by. But instead, I saw a white butterfly fly up to my window, flutter there looking in at me and then fluttering off. I live on the third floor, and you don't see that often. Something in me shook me and said, now, and hurry.
So i grabbed the bag of stuff and walked off after the butterfly more or less.... at least in the direction it had gone. And come up to a house where I had recently made acquaintances, and, every time I come there I deliver a gift to them that they have just ran out of... or Amanda will show up randomly and give them coffee or something, just as they run out of coffee, though we don't know it until they look at us and smile and tell us they had just ran out of whatever it was we were led to give them... hard to explain that, but that's our relationship on one level.
As I'm walking buy they were outside sharing a cig with some friends ( a rare thing for them) but I was shook again and told to stand out and talk to them for a moment. K. about 2 mins later, just as I was mentioning that, well, I think I'm out to deliver some books to this chic, ah.. kinda like giving you coffee and stuff... only this time is a bit more difficult. I look up, there she is. There's the hardened heart, and the quick walking away. I dropped my guitar shuffled the stuff out of my bag as quickly as possible, and noticed, here comes the other answer to my prayer... that I wouldn't burden her with walking with a bunch of wieght, as someone comes to pick her up. I kinda giggled to myself because I knew she saw an escape, when it was really more than that. I prayed so intently for a way to make this transaction as least burdensome as possible.
I did have much reservation and a flash of fear about approaching her, since my major weakness is not wanting to bring anyone pain... but well, it was her decision to disfigure any simple lines of communication... is what I told myself to get through that moment and walk up to her.
This, and she's actually interested in fasting?? The right material from an awesome minister put there talking about exactly what has happened and book about the proper coarse for us to take through it. with his full message in it. Amazing book, even if you just like pictures...
Well those two things combined (fasting and the resources to make it much easier to be Christ orientated in her life and her children's) it's pretty much clear sailing from here on out. Tent pegs are firmly planted in place, and the sanctuary in her heart for Him can be established. Pretty much the trump card for the darkness problem. So very excited about that. Wanted you guys to know.
Thanks so much for your prayers!
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Re: The power of our prayers.
Wed, September 2, 2009 - 5:27 PMYet another odd co-incidence today, there's been quite a few of those.
I was absent for this one, thankfully... and I think perhaps this one will hit home for her the most.
I chuckle a small bit, expecting the happy end, thinking, wow, that's where Amanda and I witnessed the largest most impacting move of God we've ever seen. I love that pond.
We watched the clouds there in high definition of people climbing a mountain and helping each other up, with angels helping them as well. That when on for about 15 mins, then it suddenly changed into something like the eye of sauron, Souls swarming and making the iris. Not pretty things happening in the many intricacies of this image. Like fire.
that went on for about 15 mins too.
the two sides of the war shown to us there in that spot.
and that church service started with just me wanting to write/improv a praise song for Him at the lake.
Always starts with the praise to bring His peace, to bring His wonder. -
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Re: The power of our prayers.
Thu, October 1, 2009 - 11:38 AMHere is an excerpt from another thread, but It would seem that it belongs here in this thread, for obvious reason.
~Someone even had a dream about her and her children as this month played out, where I was praying for them and it was shaking the walls of their house. Everyone had been hiding in the attic, and there was some evil in the house, but because of the constant prayer I kept sending it was literally shaking the foundation of evil out of the house. That was a very refreshing story brought to me about this. From someone who didn't even know what was going on, to boot.
~The Lord allowed my heart to be utterly consumed with Love for ann e, in order that I would constantly send prayers up, and make an effectual ~intersession for her, I understand that very well today.
I came back from my deliveries to sit at work a while and wait till I had to do a final catering. I've had a lot of. breakthroughs I guess you could call them, from prayers recently. That and... I'm seeing a lot more in the world around me than I did just a few months ago... I blame it on all the prayer, the fasting. So, in the mean time I went to go sit just off the property, to smoke an american spirit and pray. In light of what I've placed above here... this I thought was super cool.
I entered prayer, and tried one of the things from rick joyner's book 'the torch and the sword'. I won't get into specifics, but that's where this 'style' of prayer came from. I had my eyes closed, head bowed... and after a few mins I thought a semi truck had come barreling down this side street waaay too fast... because the earth shook 2 times, like a truck had maybe hit a big pot hole too fast. I opened my eyes and looked around... and didn't see any cars or trucks moving near me at all. Thinking, that's odd, whatever.... I went back into prayer. 30 seconds or so later, again, it felt like a semi-truck hit a pot hole twice. This time, though, I distinctly heard in my heart, 'it is done'
There was a red car passing as I opened my eyes, a compact job, and nothing else moving around me... no sounds of construction, nothing of the sort.
So i text my friend who had told me that dream, that the earth just shook as I was praying for the people in that dream. It was 11:25 am on my sent message.
When I got home about an hour later, there was the first communication on my computer waiting for me from ann, logged at 11:38 am.
But that's not even the cool part.
We can speak to a pastor about what's happened... and because of these threads and the documentation of others around me of the super amazing things the Lord has done around us in the past weeks...
well...
So many troubles of my life over so many years will be healed through this next step. I've been waiting for this day coming for 14 years now... ever since I was thrown out of my house at 16 for talking about the dreams I was having, ever since it was shown to me that my family and my friends would again be my family and friends.
I was shown last night, that this progression of events will not only heal my family, but will heal the rifts that previous ministers have created in my life simply because I would not reject the visions the Lord gave me while I was sleeping.
I can finally breathe.
vids.myspace.com/index.cfm -
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Re: The power of our prayers.
Thu, October 1, 2009 - 11:39 AM
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what I have learned thus far
Sat, September 12, 2009 - 11:02 PMFor what seemed to be a very long time to me,
I was worried that I might had brought the darkness with me into my friend's home... understanding the nature of pride and it's blinding abilities, I was very concerned about what might had been my fault. Some times a good man's own sin can allow an entrance to the enemy. I WAS very fatigued from about three months of super-fast co-incidences and many late nights.
It started when I ran into the brother of my childhood love for the first time in about 10 years.
It moved me to start a painting on canvas about her and I, and how precarious our love was years and years ago.
I ran into her at a fast food breakfast spot, the next day.
Then her mother the day after.
I wondered so much about all of this after so many years.
But that was only the beginning.
At some point I had to recognize it wasn't the enemy setting up all of these, but the Lord.... 3 months or more of perfectly timed moments to trigger certain things in my past that all lead to one very finite moment. I cried out. And when a human is shaken what is inside comes tumbling out, and nothing else but what is inside can come out.
I desperately needed to know where the enemy came from in this situation, so that I could know for what life I may have left to do better as I may be able in the future. But what I also needed to know, was that I hadn't produced a blot of unforgiveness upon anyone's soul, never reasoning what it might had done to anyone. I had forgotten that unforgiveness does what it does.
It is the only way in the book that I know of that a saved person, can be surrendered to the enemy. But it makes sense... freely we forgiven, freely we must forgive.
I stopped eating for a while. Started praying again lots. Searching so hard for the root to where the enemy had entered my friendship. We were both Christians, we both had faith in our salvation. I was recently reminded of the parable about the King and a man who owed soooo much debt. After being forgiven for it all, that same man grabbed his servant by the throat and demanded the dime he owed him... who couldn't pay even that one single dime.
He cast his own servant into jail.
And the king cast that fist man, to the 'tormentors' ""until everything owed was paid"" as the bible puts it.
The Christ finishes by telling us about how His Father would do that same thing to any of us, who had been forgiven, or saved... and then held even one speck of unforgivness in their own eye - not to prison,
but the the
tormentors.
Because it came through a situation that so closely paralleled with my first love, my heart was set for certain weakness.
But in my weakness
I learned that I had left unforgiveness in her heart over 10 years ago.
I learned that unforgiveness brings the Lord to correction upon us using the advisory. At least for as long as you, being a previously Lord saved and Forgiven kid of the awesome king.... chose to hold that unforgiveness against anyone else, at all.
Not pursuing healing and forgiveness is the most unchristian thing a person can do, and now I see so many Christians, who have something against so many people.
I may make that my main message soon for the people I come into contact with, everyone around me.
To be forgiven we must first totally forgive everyone, lest the enemy take advantage of us, which is also, in the bible somewhere like that, but i can't remember off hand now because of it.
What blows my mind, is the Lord allowed my heart to be come totally, and completely enamored with her for a time, just enough that when the trap snapped it made me pray like I haven't prayed in years - while at the same time ripping my shells and walls clean in two. Letting my innards of my heart lay bare completely for the first time in years. Even for me to witness.
It brought about the largest step in humility I think I've ever taken.
And I have no more wish to be a warrior.
rather, a healer and earthen one.
And now I'm making earth homes, and a traveler's hotel, just from simply being in the right place at the right time.... because I followed the test of the Lord as best as I could.
I have also learned that it's pure insanity to believe you can say you've forgiven someone, and 30 seconds later rage about some crime they've ....
mhmm.
the real insanity is thinking that is forgiveness. My father has so much of that, and every pastor I've ever met.
Now i understand how the churches fell in my nation in so many places.
A day too late, and very little time to say anything about it at all, as always. -
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Re: what I have learned thus far
Sun, September 13, 2009 - 10:10 AMJason as a christian you do not need to fear the enemy God has complete control over your life and everything comes from him. -
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Re: what I have learned thus far
Sun, September 13, 2009 - 12:14 PMI do not fear the enemy. I fear human weaknesses giving ground to the enemy... 2 Corinthians 2:10-11, "To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices." -
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What I think of when I hear some one say,
Tue, September 15, 2009 - 12:53 PM"the darkest hours are just before dawn."
Years and years and years ago it seems, 1/2 my mortal life span, but maybe 2/3 of my life as a thinking individual, I had a dream.
I remember before I slept that night, that I knew I was going to dream, and dream harder than I have ever before. It was a weird feeling, and I passed out in the middle of the realization that I was about to dream.
In it, I was traveling on a road to the east, hiking as it were. Hours and hours it seemed to go on, just walking down that road. I was alone in the dream but certainly didn't feel alone, something good was with me. Eventually I get down on my knees and turn a brick around in the road, 180 degrees. In the same moment I set the stone on back on the ground, I looked around me and everywhere I could see there were odd, barely living, shadows. I raced back to my hometown trying to beat them there, only to discover they had been there since long before I had been alive. I ran in circles around my town, for days trying to break through. Then something broke, and I remember clearly that it was some sort of huge emotional wall, or set of walls, and my heart came pouring out. In that moment, the sun came up, and I could see clearly, and for the first time in my dream, and in my life, everything was finally ok.
Well I met that man out east, that was represented by a brick in the road. He was in full belief that he was the offspring of a human and a demon. Lived 35 of his 42 years under that lie, and hated himself every day because of it. The circumstances that allowed me to break through to him so he could break through to God aren't as important as they certainly felt at the time. But as an ex-mercenary he offered me his services as a body guard for as long as I might need. But I set him back down.
Now he's on a missionary journey through the states, on to europe and hopes to end up in the middle east. Some change that turn made in his life, for sure.
I knew that much had happened, and that it was coming from the dream I had when I was very young.
I deliver bread in my town, so I am constantly doing circles here, in my city, just like the dream.
But I had no idea what was going to break my walls down. I didn't want them to begin with, but they were so high and so thick, that I felt rather helpless behind them. I walked in a greatness that wasn't my own, but, somewhere in that, no one could actually get to know me or feel me.
Then someone did... and because of the position of heart I was already in, and the posture the Lord requested of me, and even the enemies involvement, broke me clean in two pieces. All the walls came tumbling down. Then I started to remember a bit more about my dream from years ago, but it wasn't because of the heart ache... or even the massive amounts of prayer and fasting (that has lost me a lot of unwanted weight again, finally!!!!!!!) it was the albums I purchased on a hunch of sorts. That radio station that I have talked about before, was playing the best songs possible when chance would have me drive by the one the Lord used to dash my ego to bits with.... so I bought those albums... and as I was listening to them, I remembered them from the dream. My dream had a sound track, lol, of songs that hadn't even been written yet.
And now the sun is coming up on me...
As I dread and wrap my hair into a sun burst, I remembered the importance of that dream, 14 years later. I owe a great deal of respect to one that I can not reach, but more so to the Lord for using them to dash me to pieces!
It feels great to live a new day!
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