As for meal plans, I don't plan it out but I make sure I have a few easy things on hand for times that I need something fast like cans of veggie chili, frozen meals from Amy's etc. I do tend to go high on carbs but I try to counteract that by having at least one protein shake a day, and often two. I kinda use them as meal replacements and just add a piece of fruit or cut veggies. I try to get the kinds that are not full of sugar. You can find some that are sweetened with Stevia which is a natural plant extract instead of corn syrup and sugar. One of my favorite meals, quick but not lightning fast is a microwave baked sweet potato topped with black beans. I put the potato in the microwave, then put a little bit of oil in a pan, add some chopped onion and cumin stir it around for a few minutes then add drained black beans and by the time the beans are ready the potato is done too.

As for meat pushers, there are a couple ways to handle it. You can tell them you ate before the party and youre waiting for your food to digest (and if you are veg, then I highly suggest eating before parties so you dont get stuck with nothing but carrot sticks). You can tell you are a vegetarian but they might ridicule you or try to change your mind. I've been chased around the room with a slice of ham before... I finally had to tell my family that if they were going to criticize my food and my eating habits, then I was going to do the same to them. Oddly, they hadn't considered their comments as criticism and in fact thought just the fact that I was vegetarian was criticising them! Now that I am vegan I have to enforce the rule more. I finally had to point out to my uncle that there are health warning for almost everything he eats, from meat, to dairy etc and absolutely no major studies on risks for things I eat. He shut up after that but then accused me of eating animal products in secret. Some people can't handle it and you have to be prepared for that. I've finally figured out that people argue with me because they know that meat consumption is wrong and bad and they are trying to justify themselves. Another option for avoiding meat at parties is to bring something really awesome that you love and can nibble on all night (and you can tell them you are full from all your taste testing). Because I am also trying to lose weight I wait until all the food is out and just pick the things that are really treats for me and avoid the rest.

For meals, at first I used a lot of cookbooks to help for new ideas, but then you can alter recipes for your own tastes. If you are concerned about carbs, try changing all of your pasta to whole-wheat pasta and white rice to brown rice. I also use quinoa at least once a week, which is a grain high in protein. Plan a dinner where you use lettuce wraps to hold your favorite stir-fry instead of rice. Make a grocery-shopping list so you have the ingredients you need for the week and always have lots of good veggies on hand. I don't plan my meals so much as plan my grocery list. Hope that helps.

Definitely eat before you go to a meat-centered gathering. I usually tell people whom I don't know very well, "I don't eat chicken" or whatever they are eating. I may not use the terms vegetarian or vegan at first. People usually respond better if you just let them know that isn't what you are going to eat. I don't feel like I have to have an conversation of ethics every time I am around food. Those conversations can lead to people arguing or trying to get you to change your mind.
Bring something for you to eat and share with others. For example, a huge hummus, olive, falafel platter: something that can fill you up if that is all you have to eat and something for others to try. That way you are not relying on people to feed you that have no idea how to go about doing that. I don't like making the host feel responsible for me, so I make sure they know I can take care of myself. That usually eases the tension some people may have around feeding you.

> links to meal planning/veg nutrition

I've lauded Sparkpeople.com in this forum before. Although it's mainly designed as a weight loss/maintenance and healthy lifestyle tool, they are definitely worth looking into for your needs.

Get complete nutritional analysis on the foods you are (or were previously) eating, from your allocation of carbs/fat/protein to any nutrient you want to track. Can be completely customized for veg, vegan, pesceterian, kosher, diabetic, etc. Good, sensible meal plans. And it's free!

I'm not a good meal planner, but what I have gotten good at is planning snacks :)

I try to make sure that I always have baby carrots, apples, or other fruits on hand so that they're the easiest thing for me to eat when I'm foraging about the kitchen. After having a piece of fruit, I can wait to cook a balanced meal :)

My kitchen is always stocked with the makin's for:
* rice & beans
* bean salad
* pasta & sauce
* boxed/canned soup

And I usually have things to make a vegetable stir fry with either tofu or canned seitan.

Thank you for your responses...i have some great new ideas to try!