WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff !'s topics - tribe.net

Just like Mom used to make....

Toby Pritchard — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:46:37 GMT

SLOW BAKED LEMON BRINE PENISES

Ingredients
----------------
12 severed human penises (use 2 penises if they are of impressive size)
1 cup lemon juice
1 cup water
8 ounces rocksalt
40 ounces of King Cobra brand malt liquor
One large bundle of mustard greens
50 #2 pencils
one quart buttermilk
a bottle tabasco sauce
4 soiled wigs

-----------------------------------

1. Mix lemon juice, water, and rocksalt and let chill for twenty three minutes
2. Marinade penises in lemon/brine mixture overnight
3. Preheat oven to 300 degrees
4. Wrap each penis in mustard leaves until only the glans area is showing
5. Place penises in a well greased baking pan
6. Bake for 6 hours.
7. While penises are baking, take the pencils and - using whatever pencil sharpener you normally use for cooking - sharpen each pencil until there is nothing but the eraser. Discard the erasers, keeping the pencil shavings.
8. Combine pencil shavings, buttermilk, and whole bottle of tabasco in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil then reduce heat. Place a lid over the saucepan and let this mixture simmer for two hours. When done, place immediately into a seperate container and let chill to 40 degree F.
9. When penises are done cooking, take each soiled wig and place it on a plate. Take three penises, arranging them to form a triangle shape.
10 Take a hefty portion of the chilled wood shaving/buttermilk/tabasco slurry, piling it high in the middle of the triangle formed by the penises.
11. For optimal presentation, bring plates to the table and then garnish tableside with 10 ounces of King Cobra, drizzling the malt liquor in zig zag patterns over the dish.
12. Enjoy !

Serves 4.

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 2 replies

good night sweet prince

fu krinh — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:54:36 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/30/world/europe/30hofmann.html?em&ex=1209700800&en=c9b88f6a99ed996b&ei=5087%0A

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 1 reply

confessional

Big Silly — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:28:12 GMT

i have a confession...
i like looking at chicks throw up on a penis. especially corn.

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 19 replies

funny

Big Silly — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 17:59:44 GMT

http://youporn.com/watch/139316/watch-out-for-the-dresser-lol/

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 0 replies

fucking epicurus wins

fu krinh — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:10:58 GMT

If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to
Then He is not omnipotent.
If He is able, but not willing
Then He is malevolent.
If He is both able and willing
Then whence cometh evil?
If He is neither able nor willing
Then why call Him God?

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 10 replies

Who wants...

Roejiff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:08:20 GMT

... to see me and Big Silly have hot anal sex?

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 1 reply

Religions that worship penises

craigvX — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:55:00 GMT

http://www.cracked.com/article_16103_5-inspiring-religions-that-worship-penises.html

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 4 replies

babies with beards

Big Silly — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:48:58 GMT

are you thinking of having a baby, but don't want the wife to know? don't want to have to deal with your wife's morning sickness and crap like that? he was.....
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/04/03/2008-04-03_in_interview_with_oprah_pregnant_man_say.html

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 0 replies

Sean Connery is great!

Toby Pritchard — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 00:38:56 GMT

Sean Connery! So good of you to join our tribe.

Your movies are amazing. I often watch "Zardoz" while I have sex with hookers. I also like to watch "The Man Who Would Be King" right before I go to the Dog Track. It gets me in an adventurous spirit.

We should go pick up some whores together!

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 7 replies

how many

Big Silly — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:32:06 GMT

different words can you think of for a penis?

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 6 replies

Unforgivable

Roejiff — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 01:33:09 GMT

This is some funny stuff :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz1nQEQ6UAQ

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 1 reply

Types of Poop

Roejiff — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:08:06 GMT

The “Ghost” Poop
The kind where you feel the poop come out, but there’s no poop in the bowl.

The “Clean” Poop
The kind where you feel the poop come out, see poopie in the bowl, but there’s no poop on the paper.

The “Wet” Poop
You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don’t ruin them with skid marks.

The “Second Wave” Poop
This poop usually happens when you’ve finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poop some more.

The “Brain Hemorrhage” Poop
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

The “Corn Cob” Poop
No explanation necessary.

The “Lincoln Log” Poop
The kind of poopie that’s so enormous you’re afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

The “Notorious Drinker” Poop
The kind of poop you have the morning-after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

The “Gee, I Really Wish I Could” Poop
The kind where you want to poop but, even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet cramped and farting. (very frustrating if you’re using a pay toilet.)

The “Power Dump” Poop
The kind that comes out so fast that you barely get your pants down when you’re done.

The “Liquid Plumber” Poop
This kind of poop is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the “Lincoln Log” poop.)

The “Spinal Tap” Poop
The kind of poop that hurts so much coming out, you’d swear it’s got to be coming out sideways.

The “I Think I’m Giving Birth Through My Asshole” Poop
Similar to the “Lincoln Log” and “Spinal Tap” poop. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterward.

The “Porridge” Poop
The type of poop that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

The “I Think I’m Turning into a Bunny” Poop
When you drop lots of little round turds that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

The “I’m Going to Chew my Food Better” Poop
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates your insides on the way out.

The “What the Hell Died in Here” Poop
Also sometimes referred to as the “Toxic Dump” poop. Of course you don’t warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

The “I Just Know There’s a Turd Still Hanging There” Poop
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off, because if you wipe it now, it’s going to smear all over the place.

The “Fire In the Bowl” Poop
The kind of poop that singes the hair around your butt from the big feed of Mexican food the night before.

ESCAPEE
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH.
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the ‘WALK OF SHAME’.

WALK OF SHAME.
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the ‘COURTESY FLUSH’.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER.
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

SAFE HAVENS.
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH.
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ‘ASTAIRE’.

ASTAIRE.
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON.
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See ‘CAMO-COUGH’.

HAVANA OMELET.
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a ‘Camo-Cough’ with an ‘Astaire’.

UNCLE TED.
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY.
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a ‘FREQUENT FLYER’. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 2 replies

Amazing website!

Roejiff — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 01:04:39 GMT

Check this out :

http://www.ratemypoo.com

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 0 replies

Dr. Rockso Likes Cococococaine!

jones — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 19:00:16 GMT

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3MX2oWbSK8E

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 5 replies

Jokes and jokes and jokes....

Roejiff — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:17:08 GMT

Okay, here's a few :

A guy gets on an elevator, which is empty except for a young woman. As the elevator begins to move, the woman turns to the guy and asks, "Excuse me, but can I smell your balls?"

"No!" says the guy, looking quite offended.

"Oh.. then it must be your feet."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office, completely naked and wrapped in cellophane. The psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A guy goes to the doctor. A few minutes into the checkup, the doctor tells him, "Look, you've really got to stop masturbating."

The guy asks, "Why, doc?"

"Because it's really difficult to examine you while you're doing that."

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 0 replies

I don't hate children, but.....

Roejiff — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:06:40 GMT

The Euros seem to really have this whole comercial making thing nailed....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWkZ_StRjU0&e

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 0 replies

Sonya, Vampire Mistress of the NIght

Roejiff — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:04:50 GMT

Golly!

http://www.teddy-babes.com/sonya.html

and don't forget to check the detail : http://www.teddy-babes.com/images/detailview/detail_insert2.html

posted in WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff ! - 7 replies

Kck Ass Metal!

Toby Pritchard — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 00:43:53 GMT

I like kicking ass an of course I like to rock out occasionally. That is why I am ALWAYS on the prowl for hot new tunes that everyone can enjoy!

I heartily recommend these guys :

http://www.last.fm/music/Slut+Krush

That's some great music! And you can listen to that just about anywhere! In the gym, at an ice cream social, a graduation, or just a casual dinner amongst friends.

WTFOMGLULZ - presented by Roejiff !'s topics - tribe.net

Just like Mom used to make....

good night sweet prince

confessional

funny

fucking epicurus wins

Who wants...

Religions that worship penises

babies with beards

Sean Connery is great!

how many

Unforgivable

Types of Poop

Amazing website!

Dr. Rockso Likes Cococococaine!

Jokes and jokes and jokes....

I don't hate children, but.....

Sonya, Vampire Mistress of the NIght

Kck Ass Metal!

I like...